i'm backk. ((:
okay, i'm sorry for worrying so many people alrights. i'm okay, just need a break from the real world cus i'm like breaking down after a while. Finally, i realised that shit happens and its all up to you to look at it and to deal with it. And if you choose to live in denial, the shit remains there.
yupp, 'm like trying hard to move on and keep my life amusing. but then like you're AFFECTING can. ohh well.
i've learn so many things. i've learn to love myself, thats like so important.


friday 30/3
after sch, went to ang hse. heard some seriously affecting stuff, went dwn for skate coaching alone. was like tearing badly on the cabb. i think i like scared the taxi-man. that was bad. reached the court feeling feeling-less. yup, grabbed my blades and started coaching, i think all the kids knew that things weren't okay. talked to brandon, felt much better. Played with the kids and seriously skated my hearts out. pei shan and yvonne came down to pei me. thanks girls :DDD
went to small mac to grab a drink, met jass, thanks for my b'day prezzie. ((:
went off, yvon pei me home. seriously touched. *-*
Reached home ard 12+
i was shattered and torned apart but still, i convinced myself and felt that it was still very possible to be like the past.


Saturday 31/3
went to yvon house then went to peishan house. (: drank coke with pearl. walk all the way from von house to shan house cus some stupid women never bring ez-link. =S
was suppose to meet grandma and cousin but then was super late so went back to shan house. planned to go for dinner but instead we went to hockey court.
went to Ang's house cus i wannted to talk things out, it turned out like shit can. ohh mnan!
After so much tearing, i finally saw the clear picture, it was indeed one-sided and faked. i left because you told me to. it was the first and only one tym that i gave in so damn bloody much and the return was seriously shitty. i thought i would be assured with ur love, i thought we would work hard together to be like the past. i miss the love that you onced showed. i miss the super strong connection that we once had. there were times that i wanted to give up, but you were there and no matter how wrong things were. Just the thought of you kept me strong. And i stood firm and strong through the hard times because you told me too. i tried my best to mend things because i didn't forget our promise.
i like fall into pre-depression.
to shann: sorry for leaving you alone, i really had so much doubt that needs his assurance.


sunday 1/4
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARLENE and SIYI :DD
met up with pei shan, serene and melody. went to east coast park cause serene wanted to get her pay and i need to shout and let it all out and same goes to melody. yupps, went to eat mac then went to the beach. there were so much stars. i stood there, many many thoughts ran pass my brain then i realised that it was true, i loved you more than i expected. that was SHIT.
meody came over to my place after that. We cabbed home, and we were like seriously on a speed cab can. after shan and serene left. Me and melody were like flying in the cab. 0ohh, it was speeding cus like we say we wanted to reach my place for $9 (((:
i pondered abt it for like one whole night. BULLSHIT. Then i realised, I CANT GO TO SCHOOL. Ya so i planned not to go for one week. give me one week to tune my life back. And to like get all the shit that just finish happening out of my life.


Monday 2/4
melody came over to my place, was supposed to watch movie but then we spend one whole day talking. ((:
then ya, maybe i should get over it la. SERIOUSLY.
have been crying for like the past one week. like what the hell right?
after mel left.
i think i'm tired
i think i'm losing grip
i think its enough
i think i'm letting go
i think i'm forgetting all your promises
i think i'll just take it that its all FAKED
i'll just convince myslf that i was just once folled by a kiss

Tuesday 3/4

Determination getting stronger, i'm happier again.
then he called, what the hell.
ya, it seriously triggered my determination
something like that, spent my whole day packing my clothes, getting things right. completing my homework.
slept in mummy' room to stop me from probbing.

Wednesday 4/4
Did nothing, seriously.
((:
had a brillent plan with melody. aHaa.

Thursday 5/4
I've been not doing any useful thing. yupps. anyway, i'll be having tution with serene later. so ohh well, at least i'll be doing something useful :DDD
ate lotsa chocolate.
i miss Ang, miss the love we shared.
still wondering, why did everything ended so fast?
we didnt have a distinct break up, so are we still together or its long gone?
OKAY, i think its enough.
well well well.
looking forward for skates tmrr.
SO EXCITING :DDDDDDD