i'm feeling BAD.
missing some stuff that is GONE.

anyway, i'll be carrying out my BRILLANT plan tmr :D
meeting my dearest dear serene, robert and chun kit.
LOL.

you're all abt her.
grow up kid.
stop degrading and taking yourself down.
i'm sick for being there for you.
afterall, i'm just some kind or replacement?

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just got home from school (:
i think i'm like a happy happy girl living in my busy busy world.
LOL. i'm happily studying.

anyway..
Did maths today, taught serene chem.
ohh, i skipped 400+ times for P.E-i sweat like PIGG :DDD
i'm focusing well. *-*
and i like so want tmr to come NOWWW.
SO EXCITINGG :DD
first i'm buying apple pie for chun kit, serene and robert tmr (:
then gng to stadium for sports day
some brillent people suggest to wear HEELS to the stadium tmr.
WOOOO~
going to swim and tann +)
studying at serene place after that-which will most probably FAIL
meeting melody for dinner or somthing
coaching skates with brandon, this is the last activity of the day. :DD
and then going to airport to study on saturday ((:
okay, i'm like blogging stuff that haven't happen. LOL.

your answer ((:
If you want me so much
First I have to know
Are you thoughtful and kind?
Do you care what's on my mind?
Or am I just for show?
Cause I can't seem to tell
If you're fiction or fact
Show me you can laugh
Show me you can cry
Show me who you really are
Deep down inside

i still very very hate DOGGIIE COW :DDDD

OHMYGODD.
i think i like FUCKKING hate the COW.
see, i hate people that say dumb stuff without even knowing me.
i mean like what the fuck,
i'm acting pityful?
how well do you know my life bitch!


today was like free free day, like almost all the teacher weren't in school.
oh, i totally believe in KARMA.
robert laughed at my pimples and he got his lips swollen, thats like so EXCITINGGG :DDD
and its not gonna be okay cause he hasn't learn his lesson, he only learn what it feels like having a HUUGGEEE lip. this is making me HAPPY.
i know i'm mean, but my pimples will go. ((((:
ohh i think i'm like a bit suppose to say, get well soon robert *-*
i like didn't study for like dayss. HOLLYSHYTEE!!
i totally got to start.
anyway, i like regreted eating so much today.
it all started with like chocolate ice cream with bananas in the morning and then like curry noddle-which was the cause of robert's swollen lip :DD like what the hell right.
And then like i'm so excited cauuse i'm like going to BANGKOK during the holidays. going to like revent my wardrobe, at least there's like something to live for :DDD


i've so many doubts.
how can two lovers become like strangers?
how can you just walk away
without hearing what i've got to say.
our connection, our love, our promises?
every hug, every kiss, every touch?
was it all lies, all fakes, all made-up?
then how can it seem so real?
how can you lie so flawlessly?
how can you be so cruel?
how did you managed to take my breathe away every moment?
where did everything go?
what kind of fucking shit ending is this?
OHHHHMANNN.


i had great great fun yesterday.
thaks guys.
love you people lots and super srry for my mom's scolding.
my dear melody, my mom ain't gonna muder you!
anywayyy, love me more ehh, thats a must!
*-*

okay, its like finally its FRIDAYY :DDD
having skates later, its like taking a break from all the sch work. i'm doing well, getting my targeted results for biolody and social studies. *-*
it makes me happy. ((:

somehow it seems oh-so-over.
and what hurts the most
is being so close
having so much to say
and watching you walk away.
facing the fact that
you just love me no more.
but i'm not going to held back by my heart emotions.
i feel that i had enough of depressions and being so affected and so negative about everything.
you'll see,
no tears will fall from my eyes anymore.
i wanna be happy, i really do (((:

okay, now i've got some XxxxxXxx thingy tagging my blog. ohh well,
love me
hate me
call me bitch
call me slut
i really wish i'd cared
but seriously,i don't give a shit abt it.

OHMYGOD, i think i'm like not in the mood of blogging.
i wanna SLEEEPPPP :DD
tatta~

Bloged like super long yesterday but then the stupid internet conection spoilt :[
so like the whole entire long long post is GONEE.
okay, i'm like having this can't sleep thing. its like freaking irritating, totally pissing the shit out of me!! i like totally wanna sleep but then sumhow my brain dun wanna stop functioning.
i've just realised that there is like so much to study for mid year. so people reading this, start STUDDDYINGGGG and i'm serious cus afterall there isn't any shortcuts to places worth going. ((:
i suddenly sound like the principle ehh :DDDD

Anywayy, i'm totally feeling much better already, recovering from all the depression and things like that, thanks plenty plenty to all that cared and stood by me and see me overcome all the shitss. Really apperciate that *-*
THANKS TO ALL ESPPP
-MUMMY ((:
-serene
-robert
-chun kit
-vonn
-shann
-melody
-brandon
-oshi
-minghan
-aunty kris
-jasmine
-si min


i'm like currently feeling super FATTT, maybe i should start skipping?
OHMYFGODDD. this is pissing the shit out of me can!
Can like someone tell me how to like shake FATS off.
okay, i know.
ENOUGHHHH


**i'm scard i want you back, so lets just leave it like that cus i know far too much than i'm suppose to. i've waited so many nights for you to come clear my doubts. i cried myself to sleep for days, i've waited but baby, you took too long.

JEALOUSYYY KILLSSS :DDDDD

i got to STUDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYY
oh my god, i cant start. i've spent the whole fucking day eating. i'm getting FATTT.
okay and some STUPID WOMEN is not answering her phone.
STUPID WOMEN -----> MELODY SOH EN HUI
okay, so the bottom line is: i'm super irrtate cus i'm feeling FAT
what the shit!


SOMEONE MAKE ME FEEL LOVE :((

i'm backk. ((:
okay, i'm sorry for worrying so many people alrights. i'm okay, just need a break from the real world cus i'm like breaking down after a while. Finally, i realised that shit happens and its all up to you to look at it and to deal with it. And if you choose to live in denial, the shit remains there.
yupp, 'm like trying hard to move on and keep my life amusing. but then like you're AFFECTING can. ohh well.
i've learn so many things. i've learn to love myself, thats like so important.


friday 30/3
after sch, went to ang hse. heard some seriously affecting stuff, went dwn for skate coaching alone. was like tearing badly on the cabb. i think i like scared the taxi-man. that was bad. reached the court feeling feeling-less. yup, grabbed my blades and started coaching, i think all the kids knew that things weren't okay. talked to brandon, felt much better. Played with the kids and seriously skated my hearts out. pei shan and yvonne came down to pei me. thanks girls :DDD
went to small mac to grab a drink, met jass, thanks for my b'day prezzie. ((:
went off, yvon pei me home. seriously touched. *-*
Reached home ard 12+
i was shattered and torned apart but still, i convinced myself and felt that it was still very possible to be like the past.


Saturday 31/3
went to yvon house then went to peishan house. (: drank coke with pearl. walk all the way from von house to shan house cus some stupid women never bring ez-link. =S
was suppose to meet grandma and cousin but then was super late so went back to shan house. planned to go for dinner but instead we went to hockey court.
went to Ang's house cus i wannted to talk things out, it turned out like shit can. ohh mnan!
After so much tearing, i finally saw the clear picture, it was indeed one-sided and faked. i left because you told me to. it was the first and only one tym that i gave in so damn bloody much and the return was seriously shitty. i thought i would be assured with ur love, i thought we would work hard together to be like the past. i miss the love that you onced showed. i miss the super strong connection that we once had. there were times that i wanted to give up, but you were there and no matter how wrong things were. Just the thought of you kept me strong. And i stood firm and strong through the hard times because you told me too. i tried my best to mend things because i didn't forget our promise.
i like fall into pre-depression.
to shann: sorry for leaving you alone, i really had so much doubt that needs his assurance.


sunday 1/4
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARLENE and SIYI :DD
met up with pei shan, serene and melody. went to east coast park cause serene wanted to get her pay and i need to shout and let it all out and same goes to melody. yupps, went to eat mac then went to the beach. there were so much stars. i stood there, many many thoughts ran pass my brain then i realised that it was true, i loved you more than i expected. that was SHIT.
meody came over to my place after that. We cabbed home, and we were like seriously on a speed cab can. after shan and serene left. Me and melody were like flying in the cab. 0ohh, it was speeding cus like we say we wanted to reach my place for $9 (((:
i pondered abt it for like one whole night. BULLSHIT. Then i realised, I CANT GO TO SCHOOL. Ya so i planned not to go for one week. give me one week to tune my life back. And to like get all the shit that just finish happening out of my life.


Monday 2/4
melody came over to my place, was supposed to watch movie but then we spend one whole day talking. ((:
then ya, maybe i should get over it la. SERIOUSLY.
have been crying for like the past one week. like what the hell right?
after mel left.
i think i'm tired
i think i'm losing grip
i think its enough
i think i'm letting go
i think i'm forgetting all your promises
i think i'll just take it that its all FAKED
i'll just convince myslf that i was just once folled by a kiss

Tuesday 3/4

Determination getting stronger, i'm happier again.
then he called, what the hell.
ya, it seriously triggered my determination
something like that, spent my whole day packing my clothes, getting things right. completing my homework.
slept in mummy' room to stop me from probbing.

Wednesday 4/4
Did nothing, seriously.
((:
had a brillent plan with melody. aHaa.

Thursday 5/4
I've been not doing any useful thing. yupps. anyway, i'll be having tution with serene later. so ohh well, at least i'll be doing something useful :DDD
ate lotsa chocolate.
i miss Ang, miss the love we shared.
still wondering, why did everything ended so fast?
we didnt have a distinct break up, so are we still together or its long gone?
OKAY, i think its enough.
well well well.
looking forward for skates tmrr.
SO EXCITING :DDDDDDD